Vivian Huizenga:

FEELING good is wonderful. Too bad we cannot feel good all the time, isn’t it? There are ups and downs in life we cannot avoid, like pandemics. But, is it possible to feel good even in uncertain times? Do you ever wonder why some people seem happy and jolly most of the time even when their lives are full of calamities? Is there a special secret to this, or is their happiness fake?

People spend a lot of money and time looking for ways to be happy. A new home, a car, the perfect partner, living in London, shopping, love, power, food, drink, drugs, an ultimate job, or more money. People try and try. They sing about it, try to buy or sell it, and try to catch it.

If we look around us we find that not all poor are unhappy and not all rich are happy. So, what makes the difference? More and more, research is finding that feeling good is a state of mind that can be changed from the inside, not from the outside. It is not about what you have, it is about how you perceive. Do you know someone who just has a positive outlook on life? That is a clue. They look at life differently. They smile more, are kind and curious.

Now that we are threatened with another wave of the novel coronavirus, and scientists are scrambling to understand this new variant called omicron, we may start feeling a bit gloomy about when this will ever end. We have been strong and resistant and changed our whole way of life during the Covid pandemic. We do not travel or visit much any more, we wear masks and do more on the internet. How can we remain living in bubbles and hardly see our families? Do we have to have lockdowns again? What will happen to us and the world?

There is a way out of this fear and uncertainty. Knowing that our feelings are primarily connected to what we think and that our thoughts create our feelings, there is a way out. One of the recommendations has been to read less news about viruses and less often to reduce anxiety. Tests of optimism show that people who think positively feel better. People who believe things never go their way and think negative thoughts feel bad. It will not happen overnight or tomorrow, but we can begin a pattern of thinking to get us in a better place and feeling good. This can help us through the next phase of uncertainty with pandemics. Just like people we know who start a business, believe in themselves, and do incredible things, we can also gain positive benefits in our lives, do things we thought impossible, and feel good.

It all starts with how we think. Observe your thoughts for a few minutes of sitting quietly. What were your thoughts? Pleasant or fearful? Positive or negative? Kind or critical? Just observe and without judgement, let them go. Observe your thoughts throughout your day. Are you aware of how much complaining you do, think, or say? It is good to be aware. Next, watch for limiting beliefs, ‘Oh, I cannot do that!’ or ‘Things are never going to change’ or ‘I hate my job.’ Watch out for words such as ‘never, should, cannot, always, no one.’ Just curiously observe your thinking patterns.

Next, increase your positive thoughts, comments, and beliefs. It may feel strange and untrue, but that is why we need to say them, so our brain will believe in a better way to see the world and think. Why is it okay to say hurtful negative things to ourselves? We do this at least 500 times a day. If it is all in how we think, that is wonderful because we can change how we think. Maybe people do not want to. That is okay, this is for those who want to see good in their lives, feel good and build resilience to future pandemics. Continue to practise saying good things to yourself, being kind to yourself, and trusting in a better future. Here is your challenge, say, ‘My life is getting better and better. All is well and I am safe.’ 500 times a day for 21 days and feel the difference. You can do it.

Vivian Huizenga is primary counsellor at the International School Dhaka.